i really hate this entry and i wish i never had to write this piece, but it's now almost a year after i wrote this one and i forgot about it until i was cleaning up my hard drive and i happen to reread it... 

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It has been bugging me for months now and I dunno how to go about it. The realization was just too much for me to handle especially when I had a talk with my best friend, who felt sad but then I have to be brave and face him and confirm my feelings.  of course I felt my stomach churned on my way, my emotions mixed but then I told myself I’ve gotta brave it, and I did!

I’ve waited for this moment so I can finally give myself a chance and
assess my stance and I’m really glad I did! It was seeing him again that made me realize that my feelings for him were nothing but mere infatuation. We are friends and we stay that way. He will always be special of course and I know I am to him. I’m glad that I can finally put my case to rest.

today is my 3rd yr anniv from work... actually just can't think of anything to write so i guess this is better than nothing...

it's been a while since my last blog...

yesterday i was cleaning up my hard disk coz my pc needs to be reformatted, and it was really amazing coz i came across some of my blog drafts. I never got the chance to add those entries here, i deleted most of it though but it felt good reading those entries again. it was like re-living the moment.

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yesterday i badly wanted to watch a concert, i mean it's been ages since i last saw one and hey i'm in a festive mood, who wouldn't be? when the whole province is celebrating Sinulog. But then they guys wanted to watch narnia, so we did, hoping that after the movie we go and watch. Geez we end up at starbucks, it was still early and they were kinda sleepy, i duwanna go home yet coz my mind was made up, i'm gonna go home at dawn but where's the fun of it, if there's just me? of course, bookie would want to accompany me but she's always talking to BB on the phone so i opted for sleep. There's always a next time, not that i'm going to miss anything.

i'm going now, i've to meet iwiz and pai.

there are just days when you feel restless and can't sit still, funny but that's just what happened today, i guess most peeps noticed it, i mean i kept pacing on the floor and i can't think straight, it rarely happens though, only when someone close to me is thinking of me--can't say who but i know something's bothering me and i just can't point my finger on it.

anyway, it's been a while since i last heard kitchie's voice on my media player but whenever i hear this song i get the same mixed feelings--i can't understand it but this song is really playing up on my emotions... it's so hard to explain something you can't even begin to understand but one thing is for sure, it touched the core, or at least my deepest emotion. I think i'm getting nuts

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On the same ground

My love,
Its been a long time since i cried
and left you out of the blue.
Its hard leaving you that way when
I never wanted to.

Self-denial is a game
Its strange i never would've
wanted if until there was you.

Because i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

CHORUS:
that's why i don't understand is why im feeling
so bad now when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth and
lied. but why am i the only one standing stranded
on the same ground?

My love,
Its been a long time since i cried
and left you out of the blue.
Its hard leaving you that way when
I never wanted to.

Self-denial is a game
Its strange i never would've
wanted if until there was you.

Because i have learned that love is a
word gets thrown a little bit too much.
the best excuse to fill the infinite abyss
i have never have to if all else fail

If all else fail, would you be there to love me?
If all else fail, would you be brave to see right
through me?

missed blogging, it's been over a week since i had my last entry. just got so caught up with work that it gives me the creeps--geez! what a realization- i no longer have a virtual life. Oh well apart from the occasional checking of mails and reading the news, i have no more time for surfing and all the stuffs i do online. sometimes i'm just too tired to go online when at home, i guess i've changed.

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been plague with a headache lately, i am not feeling well and i can hear every word spoken in an echo on my left ear. I guess i have colds and i've been on drugs for sometime now but i feel my condition has worsened-- this is a bad sign, i hope i get better soon. I have a dive sched this monday and i have been looking forward to it. I won't let headaches or colds get in the way.

::

last minute shopping is really a pain in the a**. been going to and fro the mall and i can't seem to find the stuffs i want. I don't have much time to spare and i hate it when i have the perfect gift in mind and couldn't find it anywhere. I wish people would go away, so i can shop peacefully, it is so damn frustrating paying for just 1 item and end up spending your entire time falling in line at the check out counters. sigh